Friday, September 10, 2010

Big Hearted Fella

By John McDonnell
 
“It’s not goodbye, Sue, not at all.” He took another forkful of the fish and put it in his mouth. “This is delicious fish, by the way. Never had anything like it.”
“Don’t change the subject,” she said. “You’re saying goodbye.”
“No, I hate goodbyes. I hate endings.”
“But you cheated on me. I found the pictures on your computer terminal.”
“Now, Honey, I told you, I’m a man who can’t be tied down to one woman. My heart is too big. I see a beautiful woman and my heart turns flips. I’m a lover of beauty, a sentimentalist, a softie. That’s all it is.”
“We had vows.”
“I didn’t mean to break our vows. I had good intentions when I made them. I just, I just can’t help myself. You forgive me, don’t you Honey? Please say you do.”
“How can I forgive you? You cheated on me. Do you want some more fish?”
“Yes, I do. It’s delicious. I know what the problem is. It was hard for you to open up to me, wasn’t it? You don’t open up to many people. I think this will be good for you, it will open you up to new possibilities. We’ll all be friends. It’s a beginning, a new beginning for us, don’t you think?” He was getting very flushed, and there were beads of sweat on his forehead.
She watched him closely. “A new beginning?”
“Sure, that’s it. It’s a new chapter in our relationship. I’ll still see you, along with Dakota and Mandy, and maybe one or two other girls, but we’ll have such good times. Don’t you think that’s better, Honey? A beginning instead of an ending? Gee, it’s awfully hot in here. And I’m having trouble breathing. Honey, why are you looking at me like that?”
“It won’t be long now,” she said.
Suddenly he slumped over and fell to the floor. He looked up at her with wild eyes, questioning.
“Can’t move?” she said. “That’s the poison working. The fish you liked so much, it was blowfish. A delicacy in Japan, although it’s also very toxic. You have maybe an hour of consciousness, and you won’t be able to move during that time, but you’ll feel everything I do to you.”
She went over the drawer where she kept her utensils, opened it and pulled out a large carving knife. She ran her finger delicately along its razor sharp edge.
“It will be interesting to see how big your heart really is,” she said.
 THE END
Copyright John McDonnell, 2010. All rights reserved.

18 comments:

  1. Ha! I loved it! I saw the poison coming, but not the carving. Great job, John!

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  2. Yes, I suspected the poison but, WOW, you gave us such a twist.

    Very good horror!

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  3. I, too, knew he was a fool for eating the fish, but I didn't realize to what extent. Very cool. And he really thought he'd get away with what he was proposing? I guess he really did deserve the fate she gave him. Good story!

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  4. I like how discordant some of the dialogue is. Like, “How can I forgive you? You cheated on me. Do you want some more fish?” I thought the fish might be poisoned, but she's a blunter lady than that.

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  5. Great story. Terrific ending,

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  6. Some guys just don't know how to read a woman, Casanova though they may think themselves. Suspected he wouldn't get away with it, but a poison fish itself was a nice touch.

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  7. I figured it would be fugu (coincidentally I mentioned it in a story yesterday) but when she got the knife out? Much more satisfying than just poisoning him.
    (Apologies if this posts twice, got a site error)

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  8. A fitting end for a black-hearted cheat.

    I'd be willing to bet that when she digs it out, it is hollow inside.

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  9. Aren't we all assuming he HAS a heart?

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  10. Oh my god I love this. I thought it was fabulous.

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  11. Well paced and the dialogue was very nicely done. First time I have come across this style, and it might suit some of the stuff I'm doing. Thanks mate.

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  12. Yes - good. I would remove the word suddenly. I'll be back to read more.

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  13. Wow talk about a short story! Nice job!

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  14. John, this is great work, but aren't you afraid that your work can be stolen?

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  15. These are great comments. Thanks everyone! Tanoshiboy, that's a risk you take if you publish fiction on a blog. I haven't had a problem so far, although several years ago I found a poem I'd written on a teenage girl's MySpace page. I haven't been a teenager for many years, and I was kind of flattered that I wrote something a kid that age responded to. I'm not publishing all my fiction this way -- I still send out stories to magazines and I have some novels I'm working on -- but I figure if I can build an audience online it's a good thing.

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  16. Hi John, this blog is great! I've just started my own personal blog about books and such, and was looking for a way to present my own fiction on it. Thanks for sharing!

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  17. Ouch!

    Ah, but the sweet revenge of a woman scorned can never be predicted now can it!

    A great piece. I love this blog. It is a good mid-day distraction for me! =) Thank you John.

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